Dasani is hot rubbish.
if you drink Dasani, you might as well say, you drink arse water
I swear, Dasani is just toilet water in a bottle
if I was ever dying of thirst and there was a bottle of Dasani water NEXT TO ME
I would rather still drink it, you're tweaked if you think I'm gonna die
- WARM WATER
warm water is M-M-M-M-MID
the only reason it isn't rubbish is because you can cool it down
- RAIN WATER
A-tier
I know if you ever get caught lackin without an umbrella, it's annoying
but it don't deserve for the little kids to sing a diss track on it every time it rains
like bruh, there's kids in Ohio dying of thirst
*cough* *cough* *coughcoughcpughcpughcoughcpogucggohc*
wishing for it to rain and you out here wishing for it to go away? you ungrateful bastard?
if we ever have a drought, it's on YOU little billy and your dumbass diss track
- FIRE HYDRANT WATER
S-tier
forget putting out fire
this in the summertime goes STUPID
who needs a water park when the fire hydrant is out there squirting faster than an OnlyFans model
- (EDIBLE) ICE
ice is A-tier
I wanted to put it at S, because not only is it refreshingly juicy, and you can eat it like a water-flavoured Jolly Rancher *crunch* *crunch*
but the way restaurants be hauling us by giving us a drink that's 98.5% ice downgrades it to an A
- SNOW (PRETTY ICE)
snow is B-tier
only because it looks pretty and because of snow days
other than that...
THIS is why its B-tier:
- *cars not moving*
- *slipping*
- *screaming*
- *gunshots*
- *explosions*
- CRAZY ICE
hail is RUBBISH
it's just nature attacking humanity with ice for making Ohio
- SPARKLING WATER
sparkling water is HORRIBLE
it tastes like the following:
- TV static
- an unfinished sneeze
- arse
- WATER AT- *oh shit he's here*
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH D:
*AnYone who drINkS stIlL waTER is ExcOMmunicAtED PerManEntLY*
*this was an outtake*
- WATER AT 3 A.M. OR AFTER A WORKOUT
this hits harder than your mum with a chacla
that's an easy S
- THE OCEAN
the ocean is B-tier
it mocks humanity by making up damn near the entire planet and NOT being drinkable
'b-b-b-b-b-bu-b-but-bu-but sh4rrk, the fishes!'
FORGET THEM DAMN FISHES, I WILL SACRIFICE NEMO MYSELF...if it meant that I can drink the ocean water
- POOL WATER
C-tier
I swear there's more piss than actual water in here
- TOILET WATER, BATH WATER, FAUCET WATER
all 3 are S-tier
sure, you can't drink it, but without them:
- you would smell like arse
- your arse would smell like shit
so you do the math, THEY'RE VALID
- KETCHUP WATER
rubbish tier
this one you CAN drink, but if you do, you either lost a bet or you hate yourself
- WATERMELON
watermelon is A-tier
it's a food AND a drink combined
oh, oh, oh, the refs don't look very happy
they don't think they should count as water
oh, they're bringing out the red card
THEY'RE BRINGING IT OUT
oh my god, here comes the coach to challenge the goal and it's going to be the audience's decision
I repeat, it's going to be the audience's decision
))))))))))))
